What word would best
describe today’s hero? Brave? Bold? Gallant? Daring? Gutsy? Superhuman?
How about mensch?
“In a world as dehumanizing
as ours has become, simply being a kind, honest and loving person, a man or
woman of integrity, has become a measure of heroism – and at a time when norms
of civility are being routinely quashed, it may be the only measure that
matters.”
So writes Rabbi Joshua
Hammerman in his new book, Mensch-Marks(HCI Books), subtitled
“Life Lessons of a Human Rabbi” and “Wisdom for Untethered Times.” Mensch,
of course, refers to the Jewish word for a fully realized, morally evolved
human being, or person of character.
“When everything has become
unhinged around you, just persevere with the singular focus of being the best
human being you can be and everything else will follow from that,” writes
Hammerman.
The journey to moral
maturity, says Hammerman, is no less heroic than what we think of when
conjuring up the traditional image of a hero — although Hammerman points out
for the mensch the journey is “perhaps a little less dramatic
and a lot less bloody.”
Mensch-Marks is the sacred text of Hammerman’s
experiences, the life lessons he has learned along his winding, circuitous
journey. He offers 42 brief essays organized into six categories of character
as stepping stones toward spiritual maturation: Work and Worship; Loving and
Letting Go; The Nobility of Normalcy; Pain and Perseverance; Belonging and
Becoming; and Failure, Forgiveness, Justice and Kindness.
While there are many
takeaways, Hammerman is not at all preachy in his style; rather he captivates
and entertains the reader in telling about many of his own personal
experiences.
And those experiences are
wide-ranging:
- During a eulogy, revealing, at the deceased’s
request, to the family that he was gay.
- Bouncing back and forth at a hospital emergency ward
between his own son and a dear member of his congregation.
- Writing an article questioning the messianic faith
espoused by former football player Tim Tebow.
- The simplicity of a waitress refilling his cup
without being asked.
- Hearing people ask “What has God done for me
lately?”
- Going from the “me” generation to the “we”
generation.
His vantage point is more
multilayered than most and, as a rabbi, gives him greater influence and
responsibility as a mentor and guide to a congregation.
“Seeking kindness in an
increasingly cruel landscape, or, at a time of unprecedented mobility, yearning
for a sense of rootedness – well, rabbis have a two-millennium head start in
dealing with all of these,” Hammerman recently said in an article
in the Christian Science Monitor.
The journey to being a mensch is
just that, a journey – a lifelong journey of striving to do better and be
human. One is not born a mensch, and it is “unseemly,” says
Hammerman, to call yourself one. Yet for Jews, he says, there is no greater
honor than for someone else to call you one.
“I often use the expression
when eulogizing someone,” he writes, “but I have never said, ‘she was a
billionaire’ or ‘he wrote a dozen bestsellers.’ There is something about mensch that
transcends professional success. Our jobs do not define us; neither do our
homes, cars and stock portfolios.”
Hammerman refers to a
Jewish prayer known as the Alenu, which speaks of “a future
time when all humanity will be united under a single standard of morality and
goodness, enhancing the prospects of harmony and peace. It doesn’t promise that
we’ll get there soon but asserts that it is our responsibility to make progress
toward that end.”
The author notes that in
German, the term mensch refers specifically to males, but the
designation in the Jewish sense is hardly gender-specific. He recounts the
amusing anecdote of searching Amazon for Hanukkah gifts and coming across a mug
with a picture of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, under which was the word, Mensch.
As Hammerman says, she is “the quintessential wo-mensch.”
“If by sharing what I’ve
learned,” he says, “I can bring just a bit more decency into the world that has
lost its moral moorings, a modicum of generosity, honesty, and human connection
in a world overflowing with cruelty, loneliness and deceit, then I’ll have made
it to my personal Promised Land.”
Mensch-Marks is now available
for purchase.